What the f*ck

SuNoAnBuKi

New member
I dont know where this is supposed to go. I just found out that my ex (lived with each other for three years, were set to be married this summer, were talking about trying to have kids next month and only broke up a month ago) is now seeing my guitar player from one of my bands. This guy has been my best friend for 10 years. He missed my first show on Saturday with my other band because he, 'Was spending time with his family' and she missed it because of some bullshit ass reason. Come to find out ... they were together that night. What the fuck? I'm having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that I'm responsible for losing the only girl that I ever truly gave a fuck about, living in a shit hole of a house, not being able to make rent - ever, trying to control my drinking .... and now this? How the fuck am I supposed to take this in stride? All I want to do is beat this guy's ass ... but at the same time I'm happy for them because at least they're happy I guess. How messed up is that? I dont know what I'm supposed to do. I'm sorry for venting and being such a whiny shit about this ... but you guys are really the only people I have.
 

BillRayDrums

New member
Hey man I've been there. The best thing you can do is get out of that situation. It hurts, it sucks, but it's necessary.
 

vincemie

New member
life will always throw giant piles of sh@t your way. the best you can do is dodge some of it while cleaning more of it off. in my short time on this planet (26 years) ive learned that time heals things properly. your "friend" guitar player is not acting the way friends should act. you should want to feel like bashing his fcae in, just be the bigger person and dont do the wrong thing and avoid assault charges which will only make things worse. as for the girl i know that hurts the worst, your trust has been violated, just keep on keeping on, keep yourself busy, play drums, smoke some pot, and try not to do anything that will get you hurt or in trouble.
 

SGarrett

New member
Yeah, shitty situation, bro. I'd honestly say that you need to leave that band for your own sanity. There's absolutely nothing wrong with anything that you're feeling. You still have feelings for her so it hurts you to see her with someone else, let alone a bro breaking the man code. On the flip side, you do care for both of them so it does make you feel good at some level to see them happy. But, the situation as a whole is toxic to you and will continue to poison you as long as you stay around it. You have the power to change this, so do so. It's not being a pissy little bitch and running away with your ball. It's being a mature person who knows when it's time to leave a bad situation. From there, find a way to work on you. I just found this site: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/personality-development.html
 

prowler029

New member
man i was in a somewhat similar situation just yesterday. the one girl im truly in love with just up and tells me that bad memories of things that happened a long time back are making her feel different about me and she just wanted to end it, and go b with a friend of mine who brought these memories back up. after a 6 hour conversation with her i finally convienced her tht i was the one for her. so man if u can just talk to her and c WTF happend and c if it can be fixed in any way it could help alot.
 

tapeworm97

New member
i feel for ya bro. hey but dont harnest all of that bad energy because its bad for you, not only psychologically but physically also. i realized being mad all the time at my ex for treating me like crap was not a good thing. so i realized that accepting or forgiving, really took a load of my chest.
because as we may all know life is a really f***ed up test but EVERYBODY goes thru it. and the less bad energy you have, the more ease you have goin thru life, and the happier person youll become. Dont stay in the past. trust me.
 

Mitchell?

New member
Hey bud, this sucks ass for you I know, I can't comprehend it because I'm not in your shoes, but I know it sucks, but remember you always have mates here on DML that are willing to talk this shit out with you.

I'd say, just leave the situation, just put them out of your life, that would probably be the best thing to do.
 

Rob Crisp

New member
Sorry to hear that mate. Perhaps the time has come to move on, find a new town, new band, new job and a girl who can make the rent each month no worries.

Whatever you do, avoid the temptation to bosh him in the face. You might hurt him but you could also hurt your hand which we all know is bad!
 

Scrogs

New member
SuNoAnBuKi":2s58c7vk said:
What the fuck? I'm having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that I'm responsible for losing the only girl that I ever truly gave a fuck about, living in a shit hole of a house, not being able to make rent - ever, trying to control my drinking .... and now this?
Not trying to be a dick, but you answered your own question of why.

Good luck bro, and have faith. I'm sure there is another woman out there for you. (With bigger tits to make your X jealous!)
 

J0k3r

New member
Yeah man. Don't Put your fishing pole away yet man... Find a new band if you can and move on to the best of your ability. DML is here man and we won't fuck you over like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

40th

New member
EOTE_drummer":1vjs8aip said:
when life gives you a pile, get a shovel.
Probably will need a rototiller! Garden of life just needs some tilling. You got the shit, now you need to let nature do its thing and reap in the fall without regret or appologies!

New opportunities are right around the bend. Dont forget, your mind is attracting things into your life...What you dont want, you will attract to you by thinking about it. Laws of attraction do not care of want or dont want- it only obeys the law of thought. What you are thinking you are attracting.

Rent never paid? Shit house? Drinking? Woman gone? Best friend violates the code? See yourself in a beeter situation. It will be a better situation. THere is a reason people say time heals everything. If our thoughts and the laws of attraction worked instantly, we would not know what to do!!! So, it takes time to bring things together and the timing will be right for the next chapter in your life.

Short term, talk about it, talk about it and talk about it. Get it off your chest.

(my .02 diddle)
 

Brother_Bong

New member
Sucks dude, been there, know all about it. Especially the drinking part. Don't loose control of that because of her and him, and you'll be fine. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. Thats all I can tell ya.
 

SuNoAnBuKi

New member
Seriously, thanks guys. Things actually aren't so bad now. Crazy how a week can turn things around like that. Shit with my band has really picked up so we're going to be playing more shows which means more money which means I can actually afford rent and groceries at the same time. I've been hangin around this chick lately .. we've always tossed the idea of dating around for years but never had the opportunity because either she was seeing someone or I was ... but now we're both single and hanging out with her couldn't be more refreshing. To be honest .. I could give a fuck about my ex and this guy anymore. Fuck 'em, right? There's no point in sitting around harping on the situation and trying to figure things out. It's just easier for me to let it go and not give them the satisfaction of stressing me out. Not to mention I got a hot ass 19 year old who actually cares about me and wants to be with me ... how mad can I really be? Haha. So again, I thank you all for your words of wisdom and for taking the time to show that you actually care. It's greatly appreciated.


- Brian
 
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