Sometimes I experience this, and as annoyed with it as our guitarist got, we never really could fix it entirely - simply because we all had our own ideas on what the tempo should be. So what I did was, I got with my guitarist, and with my bassist, and we worked out a signal system. I told them if they could compromise on say the first 10 to 15 seconds of the song, I'd be willing to speed up or slow down as necessary. That way, we're all working together to achieve what we're after. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, the guitarist, or the bassist will look over at me and either nod his head, or mouth the words: "speed up" or "slow it down a bit." If I still misunderstand, he'll come over to the kit and let me know what to do. As a drummer, you provide the backbone, but also as a drummer, you gotta play what the other guys in the band want to hear. It's not the end of the world if y'all start a song a few ticks too fast or too slow. If you don't know, then you don't know. That's why I have the signal system with my band. Work out a compromise, because the best music is a combination of all the players' ideas meshed into one, and you simply cannot achieve that without communication.