I need some advice

GiveItAll

New member
so new year's was a bust..i went out partying with the singer in my band Tim and his gf, my sister and her bf, and a few other friends. long story short by the end of the night Tim was pretty tanked punched his window in then started crying saying "i wanna go home" we all tried to calm him down he put a cigarette out in his arm right in my face then looked at me and said "our band sucks, and im going home"

my dilema is...im not sure whether or not to take this dude seriously i mean i know he has problems he really needs help for but this could of been drunk talk

the band has a show monday and about 4 shows after that already booked...should i go ahead and cancel them? or wait to hear the word from him...or just call him?

i do think once our scheduled engagements are through in whatever sense that Tim really needs to get some help so regardless of that what do you guys think i should do?
 

kylevater

New member
yeah i think its just because he was drunk
its the same as when a drunk guy hooks up with a fat chick
ya know?
 

Airborne Ranger

New member
I say play the shows you are already booked for. Then have a sit down with him and tell him to get help for his problems, whether is it alchohol abuse, anger issues, depression etc. It is not normal behavior to punch windows or burn yourself even when drunk. No telling the next time he gets drunk he burns you or someone else or gets increasingly violent. Tell him he has to address these issues if you are going to continue as a band, if not, you have to be strong enough to let him go from the band and move on with a new singer and he has to know those are the consequences. If he doesn't get help for his issues now, it will get worse.
 

Rockula!

New member
Airborne has a point but you have to weigh the cost of his behavior against the benefits
Try to imagine the following bands achieving success without their insanely irresponsible and volatile frontpersons
Black Sabbath
Nirvana
Guns N Roses
AC/DC
Van Halen
The Doors
Of course, there are more examples but I would think that none of these bands would have become what they were without a chaos element constantly stirring up trouble

What you have to do is be completely honest with him and establish some basic understaning
Airbore speaks of consequences and that's exactly what you should concentrate on
Not necessarily the consequences in th eyes of the law and society
More like telling him what and how much of his shit you are willing to put up with
Yeah, chaotic people can be a pain in the ass but that is what rock n roll is all about
Without it, it just becomes a bland, pre-packaged prouct (*now with 20% added rebellion!)
There needs to be a point where their behavior causes more damage than excitement
You need to establish that point, not only with him but with yourself
 

GiveItAll

New member
he was getting a little violent towards his gf to the point where i had to step in between them for fear of him hittin her. i talked with him today he said hes going to stop drinking...i just hope he upholds this because i know how he is in social situations...temptations a bitch
 

BillRayDrums

New member
GiveItAll":eobezbwq said:
he was getting a little violent towards his gf to the point where i had to step in between them for fear of him hittin her. i talked with him today he said hes going to stop drinking...i just hope he upholds this because i know how he is in social situations...temptations a bitch
Depends upon how much of an asset to the band he is, and how much the band is willing to put up with. Drunk assholes are not worth much in my eyes. Especially ones who lash out violently towards their womenfolk.
 

dbkman

New member
I wouldn't take it as drunk talk. Getting drunk just makes peoples mental filter go away. And if that isn't the way he feels, he still needs to get the under control.
 

BillRayDrums

New member
ThePloughman":2mpx04oc said:
A guy like that will get you killed in a bar. Why arent you already in survival mode?
Oh yeah not to mention the trouble that could cause off your "home turf" as in, out on the road. Sure, there's the "diamond in the rough" mentality that is endeared in legend which Rockula speaks of, but really....I kind of got over that years ago when our lead singer, in an attempt to humor a crowd on Pendleton with a little toast....."Here's to gays in the military".

The air was vacuumed from that room so fast you could feel the wind.

Then the whole place burst out in laughter! Man if he had pulled that down south we'd all have been hung up with clothespins in some very uncomfortable areas!

Really, you don't want a time bomb in the band. Unless he is selling the band in a major way then keep on the lookout for someone more stable, if you care to live with as few hassles as possible.
 
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