Married with children is a life sentence :lol: I think that if your children are small, then you should obviously devote your quality time to them. Drumming (and making music in general) is cool, but NOTHING compares to a happy family. Changing diapers pays off, sooner or later :wink:
My advice is that you show your wife that the kids are your priority and smuggle in a small gig here, a short rehearsal there...AND you can try introducing the toddlers to music when they're old enough: it's the best of both worlds.
I know my rambling isn't of much help, but I hope you can compromise between family and drumming (not the other way round :roll: ). Fingers crossed!
well im in the same situation as you and basically what i've been doing is, playing around my daughters naps (shes only 9 months old) so when shes awake i go and play for a bit and sometime ill bring her down with me and she'll watch me and dance (sometimes i put her in her jumperoo) the noise doesnt seem to bother her ( i may not play as loud as normal) . Im in a band as well and we jam every sunday so my wife knows that is my time. (yet we still jam around my daughters nap). Or when im with my wife and i have to urge to play drums i just grab my practice pad and play around for awhile. I don't know if this will help you or not but thats how i manage.
Yeah...very difficult...practice in the house to be honest, never happens...I have a V-Drum kit, but it doesn't get used much....all time in the house is for my family, not for myself.
When I play I'm out of the house with my band, in the studio writing, gigging and touring......
Writing is just down the road, no problems....gigging locally is not too bad if a good music scene is not too far away.....my advice is unless you really have to travel stay local....at least you are home every night and when you are gigging, your children are in bed oblivious anyway....still not much fun for your partner though...!
Touring is the biggest strain....to be honest if you want to do this depends on how successful your band is and how good your personal relationships are with your partner and how long the tour lasts......
I had the family first, then I discovered drumming. I found the balance through trial and error. When I set my gear up time can stand still. At first I would play as much as I could, and at first my family would be amused by the novelty of Dad playing the drums. Then I started to see that my relentless hammering was putting a burden on them. I love my family, and I have no wish to hurt them. I think it is a case of keeping your eyes open to when you've crossed the line, and the next time you don't cross it. Do it for a number of years and they accept that drumming is a part of who you are, and become more accepting. Bottom line is love and respect.