everyone wants me to drum in their band!!!

iatemygoat

New member
that headline sounds extremely boastful and im not at all but check it.

in the past 2 months ive been asked by 3 bands to either fill in for them because they are/did kick their drummer out or to actually join their band because they had thoughts of kicking out a member.

This all kind of comes as a shock to me especially one of the bands because their drummer (in my opinion) is way faster than me.

so heres where i need some help. im for sure filling in for one of the bands and im really thinking about joining another. my only problem is im already in 2 bands. this is going to wear me OUT!!!!!! one of the bands im in is with a bunch of my friends from highschool but my only problem with them is that i feel like their dad. i do everything and tell everyone what to do. i know its extremely pushy of me to do but i feel like it needs to be done or we wouldnt have a single new song written or s single show booked! this gets mentally exhausting.

so ive got a bunch of bands to choose from but i dont know which to stick with. my friends and practically family or the band with the stronger work ethic?
 

phoenix7289

New member
iatemygoat":23z52wj1 said:
that headline sounds extremely boastful and im not at all but check it.

in the past 2 months ive been asked by 3 bands to either fill in for them because they are/did kick their drummer out or to actually join their band because they had thoughts of kicking out a member.

This all kind of comes as a shock to me especially one of the bands because their drummer (in my opinion) is way faster than me.

so heres where i need some help. im for sure filling in for one of the bands and im really thinking about joining another. my only problem is im already in 2 bands. this is going to wear me OUT!!!!!! one of the bands im in is with a bunch of my friends from highschool but my only problem with them is that i feel like their dad. i do everything and tell everyone what to do. i know its extremely pushy of me to do but i feel like it needs to be done or we wouldnt have a single new song written or s single show booked! this gets mentally exhausting.

so ive got a bunch of bands to choose from but i dont know which to stick with. my friends and practically family or the band with the stronger work ethic?
All those bands that are kicking out their drummers, say screw them. Because, they now think they can just kick out the drummer and drummers are eternally replaceable, when yet, we are just as hard as bassists to replace. WHICH IS VERY HARD. Stick with your close people for now... but lets say a band had a sick drummer and they needed ya to fill in at a show or something, go ahead.
 

Rob the Drummer

New member
I know how you feel man, I'm constantly in that situation. Just go with your heart. I've been in bands that I didn't want to be in just because I felt obligated. Don't do that to yourself! (unless the money is really good) Do what you makes you feel best. If you can do more than one without getting burned out, then do it! But seriously, it is a good feeling to be wanted, it's up to you do follow through with what satisfies you.
 

Rob Crisp

New member
I'd say stick with what you know if it's going ok. Better the devil you know and all that!

It's great that you're modest about that other guy being faster than you, but if he's that good why did they boot him out?
 

Rockula!

New member
You and I should have a discussion when I get to Minneapolis
My new approach will be to have my own personal project and then farm myself out to bands who need my services
Of course, you can't expect to get paid scale like a session guy, but you can use the various situations to, not only improve your skills, but also to improve your ability to be a better music businessperson

I will use a local example for you
When I met Jendeen Forberg, she was playing drums for All the Pretty Horses, Her Jazz band (the Wolverines) and a rotating list of other bands
Now, she is playing for Harsh Reality, Autonomy, Kelly Nicole and the Wolverines
You can check her out on my friends list on My space

You don't have to spread yourself too thin, you just have to look out for your best interests
And
Eventually, you will learn how to get paid for playing drums
Obviously, you can't just jump out into the market and say "Hey, I'm a great drummer, you should pay me" but you can once you get a reputation established
That way, you can make yourself happy playing what you love
If you don't chose someone, it won't be personal

Once I got over the concept of being "married to a band" I realized how I could have both
I hope we can talk more about this when I get there
 

Alcyon

New member
1. Remember that bands aren't just about skill. There's chemistry. If they kicked their faster drummer out for you, it means they see you as an affable guy who won't be an asshole. Maybe Mr. Faster Drummer has a drinking problem or something.
2. Drums are about having fun and doing what you love. If a band handcuffs you into doing managerial shit and are helpless without you, you can't have as much fun doing what you love to do. The band with the bigger work ethic will go places and produce music they really CARE about.

Good luck.
 

iatemygoat

New member
Alcyon":3gzz96p7 said:
1. Remember that bands aren't just about skill. There's chemistry. If they kicked their faster drummer out for you, it means they see you as an affable guy who won't be an asshole. Maybe Mr. Faster Drummer has a drinking problem or something.
2. Drums are about having fun and doing what you love. If a band handcuffs you into doing managerial shit and are helpless without you, you can't have as much fun doing what you love to do. The band with the bigger work ethic will go places and produce music they really CARE about.

Good luck.
in response to number one, thats part of his problem. drinks too much, doesnt have a job, doesnt even have his own drum set(which still baffles me because he is SO FUCKING FAST!!!) i guess he's just in a point in his life where he shouldn't be in a band and the band is the only one that thinks this.

as for number 2, drums are DEFINATELY about having fun and about 80% of the time it always is for me (especially when i work stuff out on my own for some reason. thats when i have the best time). agreed on everything else. this decision has been on my mind ALLLLLLLL day. i still dont know what im gonna do but im sure it will ome to me.
 

iatemygoat

New member
Rockula!":254nrrra said:
You and I should have a discussion when I get to Minneapolis
My new approach will be to have my own personal project and then farm myself out to bands who need my services
Of course, you can't expect to get paid scale like a session guy, but you can use the various situations to, not only improve your skills, but also to improve your ability to be a better music businessperson

I will use a local example for you
When I met Jendeen Forberg, she was playing drums for All the Pretty Horses, Her Jazz band (the Wolverines) and a rotating list of other bands
Now, she is playing for Harsh Reality, Autonomy, Kelly Nicole and the Wolverines
You can check her out on my friends list on My space

You don't have to spread yourself too thin, you just have to look out for your best interests
And
Eventually, you will learn how to get paid for playing drums
Obviously, you can't just jump out into the market and say "Hey, I'm a great drummer, you should pay me" but you can once you get a reputation established
That way, you can make yourself happy playing what you love
If you don't chose someone, it won't be personal

Once I got over the concept of being "married to a band" I realized how I could have both
I hope we can talk more about this when I get there
when are u coming to the cities? and where are u coming from? are the guy in Autonomy?
 

Jee

New member
Play in the good ones. I'm in five right now, With three practices and two shows a week. Somtimes more.
 

Jee

New member
Shandon Sahm is allso a great drummer. He played drums for- Pariah, Meat Puppets(second gen), Gibby and his problem, Paul Learys' CD The history of dogs. Good guy too. We play some of his dad's songs. Tons o' fun
 

iatemygoat

New member
Jee":3kz4bye9 said:
Shandon Sahm is allso a great drummer. He played drums for- Pariah, Meat Puppets(second gen), Gibby and his problem, Paul Learys' CD The history of dogs. Good guy too. We play some of his dad's songs. Tons o' fun
the band im in played some shows with pariah before i was in it. sweet band. to bad there instrumental now.
 

Rockula!

New member
iatemygoat":3qzp4scc said:
when are u coming to the cities? and where are u coming from? are the guy in Autonomy?
I am leaving Dallad on Monday and expect to get there in a few days but may stop and see some friends in KC
I was the original drummer for Autonomy
In fact, I moved from Dallas in 2000 to form the band with Ether
We wrote and recorded the first album together
 

iatemygoat

New member
Rockula!":5q4aujsy said:
iatemygoat":5q4aujsy said:
when are u coming to the cities? and where are u coming from? are the guy in Autonomy?
I am leaving Dallad on Monday and expect to get there in a few days but may stop and see some friends in KC
I was the original drummer for Autonomy
In fact, I moved from Dallas in 2000 to form the band with Ether
We wrote and recorded the first album together
cool was that the one you did at back alley with Marco?
 

micknasty

New member
I currently play drums for two bands full time. I fill in for one baand on ocassion. Then, I have the money band. They Call me with enough notice and pay me for the show as well as each rehearsal. One of my full time bands will eventually break up as "the couple" plan to move across the country at some point. So, I needed something elese already happening for when they move. As far as your friends, that's nice. But I've passed up on way to many opportunities because of "friends". If you want to play alot and make money and get some recognition, go with what you think is best for you.
 

break the prism

New member
i remember in the "i play guitar so i have to start a band" days in middle and high school, i was the only "rock" drummer. so as you may imagine, i was up to my cymbals in band offers. i just made it clear to all of them that i already had a serious project.
 

amontholdDrums

New member
id say push it as far as you can.. the one of being their dads.. dont bank on that.. if you have to constantly push other ppl.. its not going to go anywhere.. i hate that cuz ive been there.. but it happens.. you could probably do some more with other bands and plus.. itll lead to money or maybe even more drumming for you in the future.. do what ever will make you happy.. if your exhausted from it.. ask if your happy.. your body will adjust
 

Drummersefton

New member
I know what you mean, drummers must be in short supply at the moment!
I had to turn down a session job, in a jazz trio because my band was on at barfly i was gutted!
 

racetech7

New member
WHY IS IT THAT ALL OF YOU GUYS THINK YOU HAVE TO PLAY IN MORE THAN ONE BAND? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO LOYALTY? DONT TRY TO CONVINCE ME THAT YOU CAN GIVE ANY OF THESE (5 BANDS ONE OF YOU SAID) YOUR BEST WHEN YOU CANT BE LOYAL TO ANY ONE BAND. YOU ALLREADY SAID YOU'RE WORN OUT! WHAT ABOUT SCHEDULING? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? MAKE SURE EVERYBODY BOOKS ON A DIFFERENT NIGHT? YOU GUYS MUST NEVER TRAVEL OR YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TIME FOR MORE THAN ONE BAND. ARE THERE SO MANY GOOD PAYING GIGS IN THE TOWN YOU LIVE IN THAT YOU HAVE TO PLAY IN MORE THAN ONE BAND BECAUSE OF A SHORTAGE OF MUSICIANS OR WHAT? IF YOU HAVE THAT MANY GOOD PAYING CLUBS, PLEASE LET US IN ON WHERE YOU LIVE. WE WONT PLAY WITH ANYONE WHO WANTS TO PLAY IN MORE THAN ONE BAND. THAT IS MORE OF A FREAKING FASHION STATEMENT NOW THAN ANYTHING ELSE. AND IT SHOWS REAL LOYALTY?
ON ANOTHER NOTE, MUSICIANS ARE THE ONLY WORKING GROUP OF PEOPLE I KNOW OF INCLUDING ILLEGAL ALIENS, WHOS WAGES HAVE STEADILY GONE DOWN OVER THE LAST 20 YEARS. EVERYONE ELSES PROFESSION HAS GONE UP. FARM HANDS MAKE MORE THAN THE CLUBS PAY NOW. STAND UP FOR BETTER PAY. THEY CAN AFFORD IT.
 
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