Other Musician jokes

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spudzzz
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Post Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:17 am

we have all heard them
how many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb - none they get a machine to do it ha ha ha - i forgot to laugh

here a couple to get started

how do you know when your singer is knocking at the door?
they always knock out of time and never know when to come in

how many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 - they hold their arm up and the world revolves around them

come on guys - lets have more

no bassists jokes though - they is brothers
spud
catkel
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Post Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:36 pm

i dont know any =[
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Scott_Hurford
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Post Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:46 pm

i know a shit load of drummers jokes :) hehe, their all in good spirit if u wanna hear some?
Tama/Zildjian/Remo/Vater
www.myspace.com/scotthurford
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spudzzz
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Post Tue Oct 31, 2006 2:02 am

Scott_Hurford wrote:i know a shit load of drummers jokes :) hehe, their all in good spirit if u wanna hear some?


go on then
spud
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Scott_Hurford
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Post Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:51 am

here's some random musician jokes, guitarist ones drummer ones etc...

Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune ?
Neither did I

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend ?
Homeless ..

How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch ?
Pay for the pizza.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
The bow is moving.

How do you get a lead guitarist to slow down his playing?
Give him sheet music

How do you get him to stop playing?
Put notes on it!

What do you do if your bassist is drowning?
Throw him his amp.

"Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a guitar player!"
"Now Johnny, you can't do both!"

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb ?
None...they just steal somebody else's light

How is an orgasm like a drum solo?
You can tell it's coming but there's no way to stop it.

What's the range of a tuba?
About twenty yards, if you have a good arm.

What does a timpanist say when he gets to work?
"Would you like fries with that, sir?"

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.

How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
The knock gets faster.




Theres loads more :)
Tama/Zildjian/Remo/Vater
www.myspace.com/scotthurford
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grimey mike
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Post Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:26 am

Scott_Hurford wrote:
What do you do if your bassist is drowning?
Throw him his amp.


im being stupid, but i dont get that one for some reason!
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Scott_Hurford
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Post Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:28 pm

in other words your making him drown lol weird joke but funny :)
Tama/Zildjian/Remo/Vater
www.myspace.com/scotthurford
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grey_fox
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Post Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:44 am

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff


Badum bum Tish!

:roll:
Ajax4
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Post Sat Nov 04, 2006 5:05 am

what do you call a good looking girl on a guitar player's arm?

a tattoo.
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stump
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Post Sun Nov 05, 2006 9:50 am

A good chuckle. None here yet! Peace!
fullmetaldrummer87
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Post Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:22 pm

hahaha, two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff BADUM TISH!! that's great!! I'm gonna use that at next practice.
Out of the blue. "Hey guys, wanna hear a joke? Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff....." them play the BADUM TISH!!!
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drummert2k
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Post Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:02 am

why do guitarists hang picks from their rear view mirror?
so they can park in the handicap spots.

how do you get your singer and back up singers in key?
shoot all but one of them.

how many frontmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1, they stand there and hold it and wait for the world to revolve around them

what do you call a guy who gets up on the stage with no musical talent?
the drummer. (i dont like that one :( i only heard it, i didnt make it.)
brian
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Post Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:27 am

what do you go to a trumpet player who sucks..........give him two sticks and make him a drummer.
what do you do if he sucks at drumming.............take one stick away and make him a conductor!
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Gaddabout
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Post Sat Feb 17, 2007 2:50 am

How do you know the stage is level?
Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

What do you call a trombonist with a pager?
Delusional.

Man trips to a remote African island. As he gets off the plane, he is treated to the distant sound of native drums. He turns to the baggage handler and inquires about it. The baggage handler says, "Ohhh, drums play, very good. Drums stop, very bad." The man gets to the hotel and asks the front desk clerk about the drums, expecting a more complete response. The clerk says, "Ohhh, drums play, very good. Drums stop, very bad." The man spends a week on the island and enjoys his vacation, all the constant drums are starting to grate. He gets in a taxi to make his way back to the airport at the end of his vacation when the drums suddenly stop. The taxi comes to a screeching halt. By this time, the man is irritated, asking, "Why? Why is it so bad the drums stop?!"

The taxi driver quietly replies, "Bass solo."

Why can't musicians get through the Pearl Gates to heaven? Because they load in through the kitchen.
Rockula!
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Post Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:52 am

What's the difference between god and a lead singer
God knows he's not a lead singer
You say irritant, I say catalyst