What drummer hasn't been screwed over in the studio?
I've spent the time, and money over the years to develop my own drum room and recording studio for this very reason. Having all your other band members, the producer, interns .. and sometimes management types all staring at you makes the whole process a bit screwed. Sometimes I like to develop something that after a few hours of messing with it, gets scrapped altogether. Usually a waste of time and money.
Not in your own studio.
I know not everybody has the means to do such .. and I'm by no means a wealthy person. But start making your way towards that if you want to be able to spend as much time on a part as you can. You'd be surprised with what you're able to achieve with even rudimentary equipment and DAW skills.
Now, I get sessions from the producer (regardless of what DAW they're using) .. all the files in WAV format, with the proper tempos and such. The result is my ability to spend hours on something, think about it for a day or two .. then go back to it. Ending up with a final product that I'm much happier to put my name on.
Without this, making sure you're 99.9% happy with your ideas, and are capable of playing them to a click before you enter the studio is of utmost importance.
Hope it doesn't happen again .. good luck!